Seema Pahwa On Writing, Playing And Directing Moms With A Difference

59 -year-old Seema Pahwa, actor-director and Badhki from Humlog, India’s first soap aired in 1984, shares her incredible journey as an actor, her approach as a director and her perception towards the reality of life. 

What strikes you while watching actress-director Seema Pahwa’s directorial debut Ramprasad Ki Tehrvi is the everydayness of it. A family comes together after the father’s (Naseeruddin Shah) death, staying up to the Hindu 13th day ritual. The film is a beautifully stacked layer of conversations and peculiarities that the forced coming together of families often reveal. Pahwa’s script shows these through recognizable household moments — the morning bathroom lineups, the sleeping arrangements, the tea-making instructions laced with veiled taunts. It’s funny and familiar to watch, gently unpeeling long-standing resentments to create an understated, intelligent drama.

As the children gently bicker about paying off a loan and taking care of their mother, Savitri quietly ignores it to start a second innings – opening a music school at home in memory of her late husband.

Pahwa, who at 50 started her own second innings in the film industry, wanted to show that being dependent on children wasn’t the only option left to an older person, especially a widowed woman. “There is so much skill and talent among older people. Why do we not encourage that? We push them towards rest and lack of activity which leads to medical issues, mental health issues, etc,” says the actress, now 59.

Her writing was recently applauded by none other than Javed Akhtar who praised the level of reality stories like the one written and directed by Pahwa had brought to mainstream cinema.

When Pahwa speaks, you realise she has always been in touch with this reality, right from the days of Humlog, India’s first soap that aired in 1984. Pahwa played Badhki, the simple eldest daughter in the family who becomes a social worker.

She has fond memories of Humlog. “When Humlog was being cast, I was a theatre actress with the Sriram Theatre Repertory Company in Delhi. We heard about the concept but couldn’t imagine people would actually watch a daily soap. My salary at Sriram was Rs 600 a month. Humlog was going to offer us Rs 500 per day. It wasn’t just the daily soap concept that was unthinkable but the salary too!”

Pahwa was eventually convinced by the director P Kumar Vasudev to act in Humlog. It not only brought her fame but also showed her the power of mass media.

“Badhki, the character I played, did social work. Women started approaching me to help them and I approached women’s organizations in return. Some of these women were victims of domestic violence, some of the dowry demands. It helped me mature as a person, showed me how the world could be and taught me to be responsible about what I do on screen if that’s the impact it could have.”

Pahwa has continued bringing that reality to her characters on screen, especially when she plays a mother. “We have had a tragic, worshipful image of the mother on screen. My effort has been to make it feel real and give the character of the mother a twist that breaks the conventional image,” she says, particularly mentioning Susheela Mishra, the mother she played in Bareilly Ki Barfi as one. “Mothers are adorable but they are also humans, they also have faults. As an actress, I have tried to project that.”

Pahwa has played that role to the hilt in her real life, making a conscious choice to stay at home when her children were small. Married to the talented actor Manoj Pahwa, she is quick to add that the decision was her own and a well-thought one, despite having been a stage and theatre actress of note with several television dramas to her credit.

“In the 90s when daily soaps came in, it became harder for me to do them as the shooting commitment was of 30 days. That was tough for me as a mother of two small kids. My kids were at a crucial age and I also wanted to take time off for my self-development. I felt I would never get this time back with my children and made that decision.”

Pahwa continued to act on stage even during her break but she made a true comeback in her 50s, when her children had graduated.

In 2015, Pahwa won the Screen Best Supporting Actress Award for her role as Amma in Ankhon Dekhi, the story of an elderly couple. She is also noticed for her roles in Shubh Mangal Savdhan, Bala, Dum Lagake Haisha and Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga among others, not to mention in popular DD shows like Hip Hip Hurray.

When Pahwa talks, you know she is an empathetic observer of the society around her, especially the place that women occupy in it.

“I feel women get lost in family responsibilities and crave pampering,” she says, reflecting the reality for many Indian homemakers. “Woh chahti hai ki ek cup chai kisi ke haath se use kabhi mile. Woh intezar itna lamba hota hai ki jab tak chai ki naubat aati hai chai use dawai ke saath di jaati hai. Someday I want to write about that woman, that homemaker who never gets to sit a moment and why her family needs to notice and ask her to pause.”

Pahwa is now keener on direction and would like an ideal mix of dividing the year equally between acting and directing. “I have a lot to say,” she laughs.

Her second innings has been a blessing. It has reminded her to take care of her health better and focus on what she really wants. “When you work in later life for your passion, you have more observation power, the advantage of the wisdom and a better understanding of life. The thehrav (pause) I had in life helped me reconnect with my passion.”

As Pahwa warms up to better work in the future, let’s raise a toast to that. Both behind the camera and in front of it.